Rants & Raves
Tuesday, September 24, 2002
the lowest common denominator once again request your attendance at the builders arms this wednesday night for an evening of neural relocation and sensory overloads induced by performances by LCDci, das butcher and End of Level boss. Orientation 8-9pm. Programming begins at 9pm. Latecomers will be operated upon at intermission. Show your microchip implant for lucky door prize. Wed 25th sept.. builders arms. fixroy.
Friday, September 13, 2002
The story of the 100g Apricot Fruit Log & the Indian Meal Moth.
I quickly ran into the Yarraville supermarket which shall remain nameless today and every day. My train was scheduled to leave & I had to quickly grab something to take back to Spotswood (culinary desert). An Orange Juice, chocolate bar, apples & a muesli bar. I don’t usually buy the last item from supermarkets because we have a vending machine that disperses the best bars in the west. This week the machine lay bare for an unknown reason; one day the owner came and removed everything (mysteriously it returned a few weeks later without an explanation.) I chose the Apricot Fruit Log from the front of the pile of Fruit Logs and threw it onto the counter in front of the check-out-chick. By the time 3 o’clock came about I was hankering for that fruit log washed down with a cup o’ green tea. Luckily I glanced through the window of the log’s packaging before I had a chance to open it. There, before my eyes was a web like infection that had cocooned the log. Worms roamed the surface of the fruity log landscape, ducking in and out of the apricot crevices. If it had been on TV it would have made a nice lo-fi sci-fi flick. This landscape on an item of my food repulsed me somewhat. I showed it to a couple of co-workers who also felt a bit sick, in fact they seemed more repulsed than I.
To cut a long enough story off – I sent it back to the manufacturers. A week later I received a letter informing me that they’d studied the defective item and came to the conclusion the log had been infected by the Indian Meal Moth. I was refunded $10. I’m now off to buy another 5 of these infested logs to make a nice $50 profit.
Tuesday, September 03, 2002
The human species has been dead for 10 years now, and I still can’t find my orthopedic shoes.
