Turn me on Dead Man
Paul McCartney.
What do you think when you hear than famous name? I think that he's a
silly twot. During his illustrious carrier as a musician he had his ups
and downs; up as in the Beatles and downs as in his solo career. Why do
you think his solo career was fucked? and his Beatles days were so great?
It's because (you silly bastard) the guy died in 1965 in a car accident.
At that stage the Beatles were peaking and didn't want to stop, so what
did they do? Well they got a dupe in. What's a dupe? you may well ask.
Well a dupe is a duplicate of the real person, or a dead person in this
case. The Dupes have been taking over the Earth for some time, ever since
the Americans began underground nuclear tests disturbing the aliens who
dwell beneath our feet. But that's another story.
The Beatles were a crafty bunch high up in the illuminate. The remaining
band members and their record company payed a splinter group of a subterranean
organisation for their advanced technology. The microwave oven and television
were sold to humans for a price, and they sold the Beatles a replacement
Paul; an alien who looks and sounds just like him, but isn't.
This first came to attention during the Sgt. Pepper's Lonely Hearts Club
Band album. The Beatles were a bunch of jokers and thought it would be
funny to give clues to their musical partners death. These clues can be
found on the cover, inside gatefold and back cover of the album.
One clue is a bunch of cleverly placed flower set out in front of the
drum kit. The band claims it represents a bass guitar, but if you look
closer you will see it spells out "PAUL?". This is questioning
Paul's actual existence. It's placed on a coffin and has only three strings
representing the reaming Beatles. There's an open hand above Paul's head
on this cover, a symbol of death. Another hand appears above Paul's head
in the Magical Mystery Tour photo book. He's Dead!
The second clue is in the actual album title on the bass drum skin. If
you hold a mirror half way down the word LONELY HEARTS in the title so
it reflects back onto itself, you will see it says "1 ONE 1 X HE
/ DIE". The "/" points at Paul. One and one and one is
three (as in 'Come Together') - Paul has been crossed out. He's Dead!
If you look at the inside sleeve of the album you will see the four Beatles
(three actually and one Dupe). They are dressed up in a type of military
costume and have various badges on their sleeves. Paul has one on his
left sleeve that has O.P.D. embroiled onto it. This actually stands for
"Officially Pronounced Dead". He's Dead!
The last clue is on the back cover where the Beatles are standing below
the lyrics. All are facing the camera except Paul - meaning he's not there
any more. Each Beatle is making a letter for the word "LOVE."
Notice George's "L" made with the thumb, John's "V"
made with the hands folded into his pants, and Ringo's "E" made
by folding one hand into the other. Only Paul does not "make"
a letter - He is the hole where the "O" should be. He's Dead!
The next two clues come from the Abbey road album cover. The four lined
up and crossing the road is a representation of a funeral; John is the
Minister all in white, Ringo is the undertaker, Paul is dead (of course,
note that he isn't wearing shoes, his eyes are closed and he's out of
step), and finally George is the Grave Digger. The VW Beatle behind the
boys walking the cross walk has the number plate "28 IF" meaning
Paul would have been 28 if he was still alive when the photo was taken.
He's Dead!
There is also clues in their music. At the end of the song "I'm
so tired" and the start of "Blackbird" on the White Album
is a reversed message from John Lennon that says "Paul is dead, miss
him, miss him, miss him". He's Dead!
On the song "Strawberry Fields Forever" John Lennon says "I
buried Paul" at the end, after the music fades to complete silence,
returns, and starts to fade out again. It's forward so you don't have
to play your record backwards. He's Dead!
"Revolution 9" on the White album has a reversal that says
"Turn me on, dead man" this is actually Revolution 9 backwards.
This refers to Paul McCartney as being dead.
The Dupe Paul organised a press conference in 1969, he announce that
the "Rumours of my death are greatly exaggerated". This is true
of course, the Dupe Paul is still alive today. You may think all these
events are co-incidences, you are most likely right. I still think it's
the sub-terrarium aliens, how else would you explain his pathetic Post-Beatles
carreer?
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