A Letter to Pig Meat
Dear Pig Meat,
Well. Howdy dudey big Nick. Just a letter saying hi, how is it going and
that type of thing. London is a cold place, filled with lots of homeless
beggars and people with lip rings. I've got a bar job at the Worlds End,
which is above the Underworld, where lots of cool bands play like Weezer,
Poster Children, Trumans Water, Dad and Jacobs Mouse. I help people get
drunk and enjoy themselves while pissing in their pants. So far I've seen
Royal Trux, PWEI and Girls Against Boys. Next week it's Monster Magnet
and Pond. Drugs are really cheap. E's are 10, Acid - 3, Speed - 8, and
masturbation is also cheap.
Prague was crazy and scary. I went into the country (almost) and smoked
pot for a couple of days with US students and crazy Czech stoner dudes.
Beer in Czech is real cheap - 80c a pint! I smuggled a little pot into
Heathrow, but that's another story.
I'm going to stay in London until Glastonbury in June, then it's off
to chase bulls in Spain. What's going down in the Perth scene of glamness?
Does Guy (Blackman) miss me? I've got a bull ring through my nose and
I can dance like a retarded chicken.
Heres a story you can use in Pig Meat, if you so fancy:
A TALE OF ACID THAT BLURS MY GIRLS AND MAKES THEM BOYS.
London is an easy place to take a lot of drugs in. Tonight's chemical
substance was the acid known as the `microdot'. A little black tab that
tastes like chlorine, but makes you see pattens of clouds and makes the
furniture melt into the floor.
Jack Nicholson was on the wall and he told me it was all right to dance
on the floor. It didn't take long after munching the acid before I felt
the tingling sensation creep through my body and explode inside my cranium.
I had promised Michelle we'd go for a drink at the Good Mixer, before
I went to the Garage to see those Girls Against Boys. As we entered the
pub, we unknowingly stepped into a bar room brawl in the making. Apparently
a Scottish man was screaming abuse at an English girl over a game of pool.
It was like we had entered a B grade movie, where everyone was in black
and white, but I was glowing in colour. After a few minutes of tense deliberation
the tension was over.
It was now that I began to giggle and talk continuously about god knows
what. I spotted a friend in Nadia, a French Cubeque girl who trapped me
in a booth between herself and her sister. After asking them the time
a dozen times, I finally grazed the idea that it was nine o'clock and
time to split.
Trying to buy a ticket for the Underground was a problem as I couldn't
read anything. There were too many fly screen patterns and melting words
to make it possible to get to where I wanted to go. A guardian Angel seemed
to appear from nowhere and helped me purchase a ticket, but that's where
the help ended. I was now tripping off my dial and was trapped like a
rat on the Underground. After a slight panic attack I managed to change
trains and get to where I wanted to go. I had freaked out getting lost
on the Underground, but I was on a mission, I had to get to the Garage
and the Garage is where I would go. Trying to ask directions it seemed
like everyone was speaking French, or maybe I was just hearing the language
of love echo in the chambers the drug had created.
I spotted a group of people who might be going where I was. So I followed
them and their American accents in the venue. When I got inside Kepone
were playing, but that didn't really matter. Between songs all I could
hear were American accents. This was some freaky acid. After about an
hour of walking around in a daze, trying to figure out what I was doing
there and what day it was, I realised Girls Against Boys were on stage
and about to play. Needless to say my sense of reality came back and I
tried my best to have a good time. The five piece from New York sounded
better then their records and had everyone up and grooving. The two bass
attack was very impressive, as were the keyboards.
It wasn't until leaving and getting out into the freezing outside air
that my thoughts became clearer and my body was able to function again.
I felt that the acid was kind of wasted, due to the fact that the bands
were really good. So there is a lesson to be learn; you don't always need
drugs to have a good time, but it does make it more of a challenge.
By Gareth Ashmore (on the road).
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